I will remember this guy crying at my moms funeral, who I had never met. He was tall, dark hair and strong build. And approached me with excited intensity. He was crying because my mom gave him a free place to stay,food,a car for 4 months.
He approached me to tell me his story about his wife and his 4 kids. I will forever appreciate the look of gratitude he had on his face. I am proud he knew ;I would care. Now he is a successful businessman with a spirit abundance ; my mom liked to make wagers on people and that end the end there will always enough for everyone.
In later years my brother in law David states out of no where he would start crying remembering the humanity my mother had. And how she kept his horrific traumatic secrets,
“Do not buy flowers for make funeral give them to me now: so I can smell them now”
Similar to Jimmy Carter biography my grandfather at 9 years old used to send my mother to buy supplies for the farm and general store. And my grandfather used to tell her “Don’t talk to anyone on the way because they will only distract you.” Be focused : always was the lesson.
When she spoke of my Grandfather it started with that he borrowed a cow milked it; then borrowed sugar with my Grandmother ; then made candy to sell. He parlayed the success selling into a farm Fidel Castro took away.
They were killing land owners. The victorious revolutionary Guard of Fidel Castro. They took my grand-father in front of my mother. And in 20 minutes he was going to meet the firing squad. Right before one of the captains said we can not kill that guy. He always gave us free food or anything we needed and told us pay later.
We all owe him.
“cuentas claras conservan la amistad” Translates to “clear accounts conserves friendships” “Clear accounts preserve friendships”
The general thought about it and had a meeting with my grand-father and told him, “You are only going to be alive because everyone owes you; here is the socialist revolutionary uniform; wear it.” According to my mom he wore that uniform everyday until he died at 95 years old.
In 1971 my mom was in English class in downtown Los Angeles and she wrote on a 50 pieces of note paper “Please let me please clean your house”. She took a bus from there to Beverly Hills, and went from house to house giving the piece of paper to the owners until she went to a mansion. At that mansion Jack Kent Cooke opened the door. He was the owner of the Lakers, L. A. Kings, and the fabulous forum at the time. He was like “OMG” let me help you, let me talk to my marketing guy.” This picture was taken 6 months before her death of a heart attack at the family restaurant in Pinellas Park Florida.
She was extra generous while being middle class” short woman, big heart” her best friend used to say. she always got stronger when things looked rough in business -life.
Her faith was so deep; Pastors from all around the mailed me crowns so I knew there was absolutely no doubt my mom is in heaven. Only after many years do I many levels about what those Pastors meant to do; some are high level organized crime figures in religious organizations for the money grab; my mom was in it for the people.
My mom came to United States with just the clothes on her back and PTSD from her brothers being tortured by Fidel Castro while she heard the screams from the adjacent room and saw her whole country and world be blown apart at young age.Then we fought in the chaos of Los Angeles and racist backwardness of the state of Florida. She taught us to never make any excuses, to always fight , to always evaluate, track and recap everything. I know now as an MBA I know that process to be the “Hawthorne Effect” that whatever you evaluate and track you improve it’s performance by 20%.
She left this earth with 11 million dollars in assets.
She left a legacy independent wealthy children, a niece who wins cases in Supreme Court and 500 people at her funeral with basically the same story: the same reason to cry. When she died she had recently bought a condo and 4 cars. The condo were for people who came to church that were having problems, they ate and lived for free until they got there life together. The cars were for people who needed them to survive.
“Do not let any man hit you in front of your kids”
“Be independent” were some of the phrases I heard my mom council the women of the church. A powerful female advised me of a equal partner at the law firm interrupt her and tell to shut up. With power and authority I told her you under no circumstances as my client allow any man to speak to you that way; ever. That is a piece of my moms legacy getting “resultados” results today
Her raw intelligence can, her communication and business skills can not be under estimated along with her ability to combine complicated factors for consistent positive conclusions for herself and for everyone around her.
When she was constantly training me; the 1st the question she would always ask “what did you resolve ?”. She emphasized clarity so people always know what your brand is and how you provide “resultados” = results.
She had a tremendous vision to build businesses and Christian Churches.
She was always pragmatic, practical and wise she often said “Buy me flowers when I am alive ; because I am dead I can not enjoy the aroma of the flowers”. While a source of frustration she powered her way through being intelligent in a mans world ; and constantly fighting and winning through those barriers. She said “When you get married listen to her and understand her.”
“Never get in an argument between and a man a women”
“cuentas claras conservan la amistad” Translates to “clear accounts conserves friendships”
“No le tenga miedo a nadie y a nada” “Do not fear anything or anyone”
Throughout my whole life; every friend, every girl friend and now my wife ask why never smiled in any picture ? The answer is that she was next room when she heard the screams of her brothers as she was tortured by communist revolutionary personnel. After a few years of marriage the Pastor she married; who has the faith of lion but would not harm a fly ;was taken by communist revolutionary personnel tortured for no reason. Then taken to a concentration camp and sent home to die when he made to drink horse urine. My dad survived.
Another reason she did ever smile in a picture is that in 1974 she was diagnosed with brain cancer. Of course brain cancer no chance. But the value of this story is not the mental toughness to forge ahead in impossible circumstances that most people would have blown their heads off. It is that she lost her humanity while at same prepared to slit someone throat at the drop of hat. She leveraged all she had to help people ; because she said it made her feel she had the power to so. She said she wanted to do her part to be in solidarity with good people of world.She had positive perspective and linked herself with the goodness of the world that was in her power. She had power; it never mattered who it was ; she told them what do. Rich and the powerful people would ask her advice.
She taught us be human and to spot humidity in others and for others to spot in me. When she died ; I was horribly depressed when my mom passed away April 2, 2002 ; and this lady who I just met advised that it does not matter what it that happens in your life mentally strong : and no excuses for not getting results that are under your control ; you have to be mentally strong and be happy; exactly what my mom often said. She shared the about how her 13 year old daughter had died in a fire. It was like I met an angel.
I have been very lucky of course, fortunate, and good to have great life. The crazy thing is that organically the best part of my life is connecting with others who have a deep sense of humanity along with the power and talent to make attackers feel the pain because reality is we live a cruel world.
Life in High School 1986 to 1990 was homework then cleaning offices 7 to 10 pm. Asked my mom for bike so I get around because all my friends were on sports teams and I could workout before cleaning during my Sophomore year of High she said,” “we have a restaurant; cleaning company Go sell something ,You are not entitled to the room you sleep in. You never know what is going to happen with the economic or country from turning Communist or a plague ; you need to learn how make life for yourself right now. “
At 14 walked into Chili’s and I asked the hostess “Let me talk to manager”. For many reasons ; I will never forget Joe the manager I met that day. “I can I help you ? I responded “You need us Joe; this excessive dust is going to get in trouble.” Joe responded can you start tomorrow; you guys would be working 4 to 7 am.” I got my bike, car and the satisfaction of paying my mom through life. The job stayed in the family business 25 years.
As a result being human it has made me happier. In solidarity with those with a deep sense of humanity. I learn from my client who tells me “I could care less about my wife,I can care less about my kids ; they will end up rich and I could care even less my employees and I only care that you make money.”
I am not him because of my parents.
Why I could relate with I head a special needs attorney Mark Kamleiter who like mom had an out sized sense of empathy: relay a story of a lady who shared with him about being stranded during the Hitler invasion of France of World War 2.
A train was leaving, it was the last train towards freedom and escape from rape and torture of the Nazis. And some jerk would not extend his hand to let her on the train.
We see that guy everyday. Totally unnecessary to be that way in life. In national catastrophe he is the 1st guy asking for help and hoarding toilet paper out of fear and a scarcity mentality.
I am not him because of my choice and enormous good fortune of who my mom is; and the legacy that exists because of her investment in people and humanity.
There is no closure. I got lucky my mom left me with fundamentals of human nature to build on and pass on like her recipe the for rice and chicken she learned from her mom I was able to monetize.
Anna my wife a psychotherapist- technically a Marriage and Family Therapist came home from work and she handed me a note from a patient it said ” Thank you for saving my life”….
One thought on “My & Everyone’s Mom Story Of Survival”
You’re mom was a strong woman but lived a short life. I have heard first hand from one of her friends that she had a big heart and loved her family. Please contact me.